What and Why?

My personal trainer, who i will affectionately refer to from here on in as The Punisher, has set us a task which is to follow a strict elimination diet for 28 days. This diet is part of the bigger programme of getting 'fitter, healthier, more productive..' (Stephen Hawking voice). Its going to work alongside the 'fun' gym sessions that The Punisher creates for us each week in an attempt to become as near to 'superhuman' as possible.  This is my realistic and achievable goal for myself.

Apparently this hellish regime will lose the stubborn weight that has hung around in my nemesis areas since having The Children, rid my brain of the continual mind-set that wants to survive on white bread, cake and pie and give me a metabolism similar to the T-1000.

This elimination diet is literally what it suggests. It allows the body to rid itself of toxins, chemical build up, and any ongoing food intolerance.

The rules are as follows. "If it grows and is green or has a face - you can eat it!" - according to The Punisher. Although he has kindly informed me that other certain foods are allowed. Eggs.

It has to be organic, grass fed, and as ethical as possible. It cannot be from the 'nightshade' group - whatever the **** that is? Oh, i think its things like onions, garlic, .. and basically anything that might add some kind of flavour.

No pork - which is actually OK, because i don't really 'do' swine. No spices, obviously no wheat, no raw tomatoes (bonus), no potatoes, no caffeine, no booze, no nothing... other than green vegetables, organic meat, fish, eggs and olive oil.

And i can eat as much as i like of this limited diet - no rations. So that's a positive. 5 steaks a day it is then.

OK so that's the easy part.

The really really hard part is going to be stopping myself from wanting to rip the kids' pizza out of their mouths after 3 days of this diet. Will i have the willpower to not eat the buttery, left-over jacket potato skins from their plates? Maybe they will have to do this diet with me... but with a side order of carb?

Hopefully its going to be worth it? I'm looking at it as 28 days of losing my love affair with cooking and eating. Eating as a basic function rather than a hobby.

It starts on Monday 1st November and finishes just in time for a complete retox at the beginning of December.  During this time I have to cope with a weekend in London seeing friends, Bonfire Night, and the general and ever constant Need For Puddings.

My preparation has so far seen me spend a stupid amount of money at Riverford Organic, and may result in my children eating M&S kid's meals for the rest of the month.